Taoron
I Fly the Flag
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join:2000-10-22
Phoenix, AZ
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| Question: Dreams of recently deceased loved ones.
I have had 3 dreams since my dad passed away, and another while he was close to death / comatose. (2 days before he passed.)
I have had no dreams about my family though. My dreams seem to be a little irratic, but when I have a dream I can remember.. it's focused and it's like.. lit up or intense or something.
I had a conversation with this person yesterday, she is a cancer surviver of 3 times, and her mother lost her battle very quickly. The doctor told her 2-3 months, she only lived 1 month.
I had a dream my dad was alive and in remission last night. This seems to be cruel and it's devestating when I wake up because in the dream he's living and breathing, and when I wake up he's not there.
Another dream I had, it seemed like a waking dream. I had the image of a hotel room and a door, and my dad walked into the room.. only he was a ghostly image. (...)
Another dream.. I had a dream about how he was breathing since it was all I heard from him for his last 2 weeks. He was asleep and had a labored breathing pattern. It was loud, but not like snoring or anything.. just deep breaths, small exhales.. as his lungs were filling up with fluid.
*sigh* and my mom said she hasn't had any dreams about him, her guess is that she isn't ready. I am hurting pretty much but I don't choose my dreams.
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Caliban
Go Team
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join:2002-07-25
Cumberland, MD
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| Taoron my friend, I don't know if this will help you but I need to share it with you. My father passed from cancer when I was 19, I'm 48 now and I still dream that my father is alive. This happens infrequently, but it is unsettling every time. The love and connection you have with family never ends. We are separated by death but the bonds are unbroken. The dreams that we have are common and normal, I hope you may come to terms with yours.
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[text was edited by author 2003-07-11 10:46:30] |
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pillageone
Madison Soleil
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join:2001-09-22
Baraboo, WI
clubs:
| reply to Taoron
Taoron,
I again am sorry for your loss, and while I by far am no expert I do believe in the power of love and the spirit world.
I interpert your dreams as the continuing suffering of your loss when you dream that your dad is still alive, and when you vaguely see him I believe it is him visiting you in his spiritual being and letting you know he is doing fine where he is, his way of saying Son be at ease I am ok.
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barqsdrinker
What Can I Photograph Today?
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join:2001-02-26
Apo, AE
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| reply to Taoron
I believe that there are no real answers that our earthly minds can comprehend. I'm coming up on the sad anniversary of my son's death and I can honestly say that my mind tends to drift off into conscience (and I believe unconscious) thoughts about him. I use to have frequent dreams about him; I still do from time to time. What I think is weird is that some of the dreams take place in places I've never been. *Shrug*
Perhaps your dreams are allowing your mind to try to comprehend what has happened with your dad. Perhaps you are getting a message from him or God (or whichever higher power you believe). Perhaps it is a puzzle for you to figure out. Perhaps that there is no explanation what-so-ever. (Scientists really hate that last one.)
I really do sympathize with you. I know how hard it is to lose a loved one.
PS: In about 4-6 months from now, you and your family should seek out a support group or a group counseling session. It may sound like a lame thing to say (and I used to agree), but I did find that it did help.
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babacher
sleep apnea sucks
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join:2001-02-28
Greenwood, IN
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| reply to Taoron
About 10 years ago my best friend killed himself. Hardly a day passes without me thinking of him. I carry around a lot of guilt because I never saw it coming - even though I was with him for 16 straight hours right before he did it. I feel like I should have known, and people say "How could you know, if he didn't tell you?". Then I think that if he thought I was a good enough friend, he WOULD have talked to me. But, enough of that.
My point: I had many dreams about him for a long time after it happened. I still do, but not as often. I've never had a dream about him being "ghostly" - he's always alive and well in my dreams, doing the things we always did. I've wished for a dream where he would tell me "It's OK - it isn't your fault." That dream has never happened.
Have you ever watched John Edward's TV show "Crossing Over"? He claims that dreams about dead loved ones are their way of communicating with you. I really, really want to believe that, but I'm not sure I do.
One thing I DO believe: the subconscious mind is a lot more conscious than the so-called "conscious mind". I think your subconscious mind is able to tap into the untapped power of the human brain, and perceive things that you can't perceive when you're "conscious".
Perhaps John Edwards is right. Maybe our passed loved ones are with us all the time, and we just can't perceive them - except in your dreams.
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yj4x4
Obama is the AntiChrist
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join:2002-09-18
Whittier, CA
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| reply to Taoron
I think it just a normal part of the grieving process. My mother passed away a few years ago, and even though she and I were not real close I will still have an occasional dream about her. And even in my waking moments I will see or hear something that I think she would be interested in, and briefly catch myself thinking of calling her and telling her about it. As time goes by, it does not happen as often, but there is still a void where "mom" was. Loosing a parent is though, and I can only imagine how it would feel to loose a child. It does slowly get better, but never goes completely away. Just hang in there and remember the good times you had with your father, and take joy for him having been in your life.
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"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot." |
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