rfhar
The World Sport, Played In Every Country
Premium
join:2001-03-26
Buicktown,Mi
clubs: 
| [OT] Give me a sense of humor Lord...
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign..."Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.
"Somebody has well said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the
windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll
miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note.. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, what do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "So son, what does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy. It stands for 'Basic Information Before
Leaving Earth.' "
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, after the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner." And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
THANK YOU LORD.........I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!
--
Whoever said that ignorance is bliss wasn't refering to a person with a computer at his fingertips!
Click here and learn something nice!
Take a look at www.harbins-web.net |
|
beck
Premium,MVM
join:2002-01-29
On The Road | Good ones rfhar!!!
Why do churches always need new roofs?
--
Need a job (need DSL more!). Perhaps I should get a life too. |
|
Gizmo
Who me? I live here.
Premium,MVM
join:2000-08-19
Palm Coast, FL
clubs:
 ·AT&T Southeast
| reply to rfhar
said by rfhar  :
....STRESSED!
Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts!!;)
--
~giz |
|
jopfef
Keeper Of The Beagles
Premium,MVM
join:2001-03-31
Saint Louis, MO
clubs:
 ·Charter Pipeline
 ·Vonage
·AT&T Southwest
| reply to beck
said by beck :
Good ones rfhar!!!
Why do churches always need new roofs?
All that "hot air" going up to the rafters burns it off?????    
--
"...If the beasts were gone, we would die from a great loneliness of spirit." - Chief Seattle |
|
Gizmo
Who me? I live here.
Premium,MVM
join:2000-08-19
Palm Coast, FL
clubs:
·AT&T Southeast
| said by jopfef :
said by beck :
Good ones rfhar!!!
Why do churches always need new roofs?
All that "hot air" going up to the rafters burns it off?????
:D
(All that "hot air").......Too many females in the congregation.....:o
sorto, I'm already on the "hit list"!!!!:p
--
~giz |
|
meeow
Forever Folding for Team Helix
Premium,MVM
join:1999-08-20
Portland, OR
clubs:
·Comcast
| said by Gizmo:
(All that "hot air").......Too many females in the congregation.....:o
sorto, I'm already on the "hit list"!!!!:p
Second time in as many days!
Bad Giz...In the box!
--
Are YOU Doing It? |
|
Deacon
Clever Saying Goes Here
Premium,MVM
join:2001-12-13
DFW
| reply to jopfef
said by jopfef :
said by beck :
Good ones rfhar!!!
Why do churches always need new roofs?
All that "hot air" going up to the rafters burns it off?????
All the prayers lifted up through the roof are stronger than the wood and nails holding it together... |
|
Stooges Fan
Amalgamated Morons Association
Premium
join:2002-10-18
Stoogeville
clubs:
| reply to Gizmo
said by Gizmo :
said by jopfef :
said by beck :
Good ones rfhar!!!
Why do churches always need new roofs?
All that "hot air" going up to the rafters burns it off?????
:D
(All that "hot air").......Too many females in the congregation.....:o
sorto, I'm already on the "hit list"!!!!:p
Blasphemy
--
Team Discovery Team Helix Team Ecology |
|
georgequ
Premium
join:2003-05-10
Painesville, OH
clubs:
edit:
March 22nd, @06:29AM
| reply to meeow
There, I nailed it shut. |
said by meeow :
said by Gizmo:
(All that "hot air").......Too many females in the congregation.....:o
sorto, I'm already on the "hit list"!!!!:p
Second time in as many days!
Bad Giz...In the box!
How come he won't stay in the box ??
--
Dutch
Click here to participate in something wonderful |
|
DSLDUDE
Got The Folding Farm Itch
Premium
join:2002-01-07
Norcross, GA
clubs: | reply to rfhar
I think someone keeps cranking his crank... |
|
BadHat
Hook'M Horns
Premium
join:2003-10-14
Rosa's Place
clubs:
 ·AT&T U-Verse
| said by DSLDUDE :
I think someone keeps cranking his crank...
:o;)
--
»dotcom-productions.com/looking-f···lins.htm |
|
