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<copyright>Copyright 2007, dslreports.com</copyright>
<pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:34:55 EDT</pubDate>
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<item>
<title>[Semi-Serious] Hide the women and children, ...</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20796684</link>
<description><![CDATA[I return on 6 August for eight weeks.

Oh, damn, I booked to Terminal 5!

And I expect every Englishman to do his duty -- in other words, keep the damn pubs open -- drink early and drink often!   This is really getting out of hand.  As it is, I've no idea as to whether I'll still have a local shop or post office.

With my luck, the trains will be on strike.  :uhh:

And, about the weather ... could you do the days of continuing rain now and get it over in the next three weeks?  I'd really like to see the sun again in England (and Wales).  (I know it used to exist.)  I've not been able to go camping for almost two years.

Petrol prices? Yuck (I think that might be construed as some sort of racial slur, maybe I'd best retract it?)

And what other public services, pray tell, has the Labour Government recently shut down in its neverending quest for paradise?
--
Regards,
    Joseph V. Morris]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20796684</guid>
<pubDate>2008-07-15 19:48:19</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Never upset the wife</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20968401</link>
<description><![CDATA[A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!" 

"Irving, remember that new car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

"Irving, that emerald necklace you promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving, remember that blow job I promised you? Here it comes!"]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20968401</guid>
<pubDate>2008-08-18 12:08:49</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Leaving work early</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20968395</link>
<description><![CDATA[Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female Boss.

Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know They went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.

Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them?

"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday."]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20968395</guid>
<pubDate>2008-08-18 12:07:51</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Serious] Strangers on a train</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20655853</link>
<description><![CDATA[And then we already had this . . . http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7455084.stm

Lemme make sure I've got the essentials down correctly here.

 Two senior Government officials (not clear if they're civil servants, MPs, or Cabinet Secretaries) are traveling on trains headed to London Waterloo Station.  And that itself rather defies imagination.   :uhh:

 Both of these individuals just 'happen' to take highly classified documents out of their briefcases (attache cases, whatever) on the train and coincidentally leave the documents lying on the seat of the train on which they were traveling.

 And both of these 'mislaid' documents were 'apparently' picked up by some (perfectly innocent, of course) fellow traveler (oh, got that word in, didn't I  :uhh: ) and subsequently returned, not to the Government but to the new media, (BBC in one case, the Independent in the other).

Now, am I the only person having a great deal of trouble in swallowing these explanations?
--
Regards,
    Joseph V. Morris]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20655853</guid>
<pubDate>2008-06-17 12:27:51</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Semi-Serious] Is it really too mucb to ask?</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20899867</link>
<description><![CDATA[Ummm, any chance of just canceling any rain scheduled for this Wednesday?  Say between 10 AM and 3 PM?  I'll be wending my way from Heathrow via Reading to Shrewsbury in that time period  and it really would be nice (connections permitting) to once again sit in a pleasant pub garden and have a real pint along the way.

Five and a half months is too long to be gone.
--
Regards,
    Joseph V. Morris]]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20899867</guid>
<pubDate>2008-08-04 21:00:39</pubDate>
</item>

<item>
<title>[Joke] Italian Mother</title>
<link>http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20914460</link>
<description><![CDATA[A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. 
He says,'Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 
women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry.'

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. 
He then says, 'Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry?' 
She immediately replies,'The one on the right.'

'That's amazing, Ma. You're right. 
How did you know?'

The Italian mother replies, 'I don't like her.']]></description>
<guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.dslreports.com/forum/remark,20914460</guid>
<pubDate>2008-08-07 13:57:47</pubDate>
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