|reply to hayabusa3303 |
Re: Truth hurts?
Judge Judy Presiding
"I've read your complaint, AT&T and don't understand it. You....I'M SPEAKING! WHEN I TALK, ZIP IT! GOT IT? You say their ads are false, right?"
"How are they false since the map they are using came from your website?"
"Well, in the other areas we have the EDGE network."
"Is that 3G?"
"No, it is called EDGE but most call it 3G."
"I assume the call quality and Internet speads are the same then, right?"
"That is a technical question. 3G is the main network..."
"So, the EDGE network is the old network, right?"
"Yes, so to speak."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'SO TO SPEAK'?"
"The speeds are not always the same."
"I read they are quite different. Burt tells me the iPhone doesn't work as well in EDGE areas as they do in 3G."
"That's Burt's opinion."
"HE VIDEOD IT. FAST IN 3G AND SLOW IN EDGE. YOU THINK BURT IS LYING?"
"So, then, you must agree the ads are correct..."
"Sorry, Your Honor."
"The ads are correct then. I've seen ads for stuff on informercials that are a load of crap so how is Verizon's ads incorrect? THEY HAVE YOUR MAP!"
"You Honor, we'd like to move to another venue."
"Sorry, YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT TO SETTLE THIS DISPUTE AND THE RULING HERE IS FINAL. GOT IT? DENIED!"
"Verizon, did you have any intent on lying in these ads?"
"No, we used AT&T's own maps."
"Got it. Seems responsible to me..."
"It doesn't to us."
"I DON'T CARE. I DECIDE THE ISSUES. DID YOUR MOMMA EVER TELL YOU TO BE QUIET WHEN ANOTHER PERSON IS SPEAKING? DID LAW SCHOOL TELL YOU TO SHUT UP WHEN THE JUDGE IS TALKING? I BET!"
"Well, since I think this lawsuit is POPPYCOCK AND UTTERLY RIDICULOUS, I'M DISMISSING YOUR COMPLAINT. Dismiss the complaint and no injunction. Follow me here, counselor?"
"Yes, Your Honor."
"Now, if you have total 3G coverage, WHICH YOU DON'T, you can then sue them. On their counterclaim, I am going to award them the $58,000 in legal fees..."
'YES, I DID. $58,000 FOR THE DEFENDANT AND YOUR COMPLAINT IS DISMISSED. GET A BETTER NETWORK! Step out."
On the next Judge Judy, President Obama is being sued over his citizenship. Don't miss it!