Worried about increased regulation under a Democratic Congress, broadband providers have been putting on their finest top hats and tap dancing shoes to put on a show for Uncle Sam. The name of the show? "The broadband and television market is simply so gosh-darned FABULOUS, there's no need for government intervention." We've seen it with Verizon's recent half-hearted nods toward improved privacy and exclusive handset deals, and now the cable industry's putting on one hell of a show of their own.

In comments to the FCC for its annual assessment of the state of video competition, The National Cable & Telecommunications Association (NCTA) this week has proclaimed that customers are seeing up to $35 billion in savings every year thanks to "vigorous" competition and bundling. Surely those of you facing tight budgets will be happy to discover this phantom money in your wallets.

Forget the cable industry's miserable customer satisfaction ratings (lower than the IRS), twice-yearly rate hikes for dozens of unwatched channels, and the fact that telcoTV "competition" hasn't lowered prices a cent (Verizon and AT&T consistently raise TV prices too). An NCTA-sponsored study has found that the cable industry's grace has delivered "enormous cost savings, lower prices and enhancement in value to consumers":Of course, nobody denies that the cable industry's investment in fiber and other technologies have helped revolutionize the telecommunications landscape. What most consumer advocates have complained about are skyrocketing prices, miserable customer service, limited competition, and the cable industry's unique ability to continually milk consumers in any way possible. As is usually the case with K-Street policy wonks, the NCTA has selective vision when it comes to the cable industry's treatment of the American consumer.

While the NCTA likes to praise the bundle, such promotions are frequently about confusing customers with the illusion of value, often making it more difficult for consumers to make direct comparisons between different companies' products. While carriers insist they're rewarding you, bundles often act to punish customers for not taking on additional services they may not want -- while locking them into long-term contracts with steep early termination fees. Not that 300 channels of unwatched Spanish religious programming doesn't make it all worth it.

Since 2001, the NCTA's lobbying budget has ballooned to $14.4 million, and its cable-industry members certainly get their money's worth. The NCTA recently launched a new blog tasked with patting itself on the back and pushing the NCTA's various "cost saving" and "consumer friendly" agendas, including endless TV rate hikes, metered broadband billing, a ban on White Space broadband, inaccurate broadband statistics, and so much more. When consumers have friends like these, they really don't need enemies...