if you did understand how to do things, your guys wouldn't be standing up at Wall Street conferences and complaining about how much traffic you're getting. Instead, you would be running around like a f**king maniac trying to build out your f**king network and make it the best network in the world - and the only reason you would ever need to talk to me would be to thank me for creating a phone that's so amazing that it draws people to your shit network in the first place . . .

And when I say that "we" have a hit on our hands, I'm really giving you way too much credit, because let's be honest, the success of iPhone has nothing to do with you. In fact, iPhone is a smash hit in spite of your network, not because of it. That's how good we are here at Apple - we're so good that even you and your team of Bell System frigtards can't stop us. . .

So let's talk traffic. We've got people who love this goddamn phone so much that they're living on it. Yes, that's crushing your network. Yes, 3% of your users are taking up 40% of your bandwidth. You see this as a bad thing. It's not. It's a good thing. It's a blessing. It's an indication that people love what we're doing, which means you now have a reason to go out and double or triple or quadruple your damn network capacity.