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story category Everybody Wants a Cut Of Stimulus Funds
But not all rural broadband plans are created equal...
(old news - 01:00PM Friday Mar 13 2009)
tags: coverage · business · Politics
Now that we've decided to dole out $7 billion (to start) to help address broadband shortcomings, there's obviously no limit of companies with their hands out-stretched. Incumbents certainly want their cut, the cable industry this week reminding journalists that cable carriers are in the perfect position to use the money to help nudge DOCSIS 3.0 into more rural areas. Qwest has also been eager to get their hands on the money, promising that for the rock bottom price of $1 billion, they could deliver last-gen DSL to 95% of their customers.

Less traditional outfits are in the mix as well -- like IBM who is giving broadband over powerline (BPL) a brief death row reprieve by insisting it can reach 200,000 rural customers. Our friends at Telecompetitor note that a couple of companies are also looking for funding for a hybrid WiMax and satellite backhaul solution they claim will easily cover most of America:
Today with this announcement, rural areas with no access to broadband fiber finally have a solution to getting connected at 4G speeds. Our mutually developed hybrid model takes advantage of the AlphaStar Teleport, a facility originally built by the U.S. government as part of President Reagan's Star Wars initiative. AlphaStar (tour) can track any area of the USA including Hawaii and US territories to deliver true 4G speeds. Costs are contained by using the satellite primarily for the backhaul of Internet bandwidth.
Here's to hoping that the agencies tasked with handing out this initial wave of funds (The National Telecommunications and Information Administration (NTIA), the Department of Agriculture and the FCC) can separate the wheat from the chaff. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Related:
  1. Largest ISPs Say No Thanks To Stimulus Funds
  2. Government Extends Broadband Grant Deadline
  3. FCC Launches New Broadband Plan Blog
  4. Cable Operators Now Wary Of Connected Nation?
  5. Connected Nation Takes Inside Track On Minnesota Mapping, Too
  6. Verizon: We're Not Setting Broadband Definition Bar Low
  7. What Network Neutrality Is REALLY About
  8. Boston Wonders Where Its FiOS Is
Forums » Everybody Wants a Cut Of Stimulus Funds
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Matt
Gone playing Dragon Age Origins
Premium
join:2003-07-20
Jamestown, NC

Satellites and Latency

Geo-synchronous satellites are the ones with latency problems. If this set of satellites is in a lower orbit, they should haven't a problem.
weaver0

join:2004-05-05
Macungie, PA

Re: Satellites and Latency

but it's not a long term solution. latency will always be higher than terrestrial and weather is always a problem in the Northern tier.

also, satellites can fail at the drop of a hat (keep in mind we're over due for a large solar CME)
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA

Re: Satellites and Latency

said by weaver0 See Profile :

but it's not a long term solution.
The one and only long term solution is fiber but it will take a multiple of $7 Billion to bring that to every rural area of the U. S. The Revision E WiMax hybrid solution is probably the best short term solution for many un- or under-served areas in the short term and that makes it well suited to stimulus funding. The satellite backhaul can be replaced in the future as internet backbone gets nearer to these areas.

TamaraB
Question The Current Paradigm
Premium
join:2000-11-08
Brooklyn NYC

Connect America

All of it should be spent on providing access to the portions of the country which have no access to broadband now.

Bob
--
"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." -- Voltaire

Luwigie
Premium
join:2002-06-06
East Lansing, MI
clubs:

Re: Connect America

said by TamaraB See Profile :

All of it should be spent on providing access to the portions of the country which have no access to broadband now.

Bob
Agreed. Rural Americans with DOCSIS 2 or even 1.1 don't need DOCSIS 3. Rural Americans with dial-up could use some "last-gen" DSL. How about all the funds go directly into wiring the have-nots and we'll worry about the latest gen technology later.
me1212

join:2008-11-20
Pleasant Hill, MO
·VOIPo

Re: Connect America

I agree, I would love to have 1.5m right now. Yes I would like 20m more, but They have to start somewhere. Since I am about 12mi from cable and 6 from DSL I will get wired highspeed soon-ish. I AM paying for them to upgrade the internet so I SHOULD get it. I know a LOT of people who have higher speeds want more, but we don't have wired highspeed(we have wireless 512/128) and I feel do to the fact we ARE paying we should get something.

S_engineer

join:2007-05-16
Chicago, IL
·Comcast

Re: Connect America

Forget it...the people of rural bark about the fact that they don't have the broadband that urban America does. Too bad!
They also don't have the 2 hour daily commutes, or potholes that will break an axle upon impact, or a crime rates that are through the roof. You can have my broadband if you take these other "luxuries"!
--
"When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."---Sylvestor Stallone
me1212

join:2008-11-20
Pleasant Hill, MO
·VOIPo


1 edit

Re: Connect America

I am not whining just saying, if they want my money they need to give me something.

"They also don't have the 2 hour daily commutes, or potholes that will break an axle upon impact, or a crime rates that are through the roof." ok you got me on the commute its only 1hr here, BUT our road is 25% pot holes BIG ones both in depth and diameter. We don't have many burglaries, but a teacher @ the local highschool got taken away for a pervert crime last week. and every summer 28-ish% of the mailboxes are bashed in with a bat or pipe bombed. and a few yrs ago there was a kid who killed his dad, and a body found in a pool.

S_engineer

join:2007-05-16
Chicago, IL
·Comcast

Re: Connect America

said by me1212 See Profile :

and a few yrs ago there was a kid who killed his dad, and a body found in a pool.
A few years ago huh...
Chicago Murder rate
Homicides 1990-2008
1990: 851
1991: 927
1992: 943
1993: 931
1994: 929
1995: 827
1996: 789
1997: 759
1998: 704
1999: 641
2000: 628
2001: 666
2002: 647
2003: 598
2004: 448
2005: 449
2006: 467
2007: 442
2008: 510
Now I know your probably thinking, "well why don't you just move if don't like the violence" to which I would reply, "why don't you just move if you can't get broadband!"
me1212

join:2008-11-20
Pleasant Hill, MO
·VOIPo

Re: Connect America

I can't move I still a kid. And I'm not asking for like 20m I would be happy with 1.5m. And for half of my life I live in KC there were quite a few murders there. And I do have wireless broadband, it just cost a lot. Its not so much that I don't have access to faster speeds it that they r taking my money and not giving my anything, and I don't like socialism, so I do not want them to spend your money for something for me, but I do not have a problem with them spending my money on me. I would get my neighbors to pay(my family would for the whatever it is that gets us higher speed and we would cause we all want higher speed. Hopefully we will get it soon as we live in the middle of comcast and embarq, so which ever one gets here first gets the money.

marigolds
Gainfully employed, finally
Premium,MVM
join:2002-05-13
Saint Louis, MO

Quick point, but that Chicago murder rate is approximately 5 per 100,000/year.
That is equivalent to less than 1 murder every 4 years in a town the size of Pleasant Hill. me1212 might actually live in a town with a higher murder rate than Chicago.
tdouglas22

join:2001-09-25
Memphis, TN

said by S_engineer See Profile :

Forget it...the people of rural bark about the fact that they don't have the broadband that urban America does. Too bad!
They also don't have the 2 hour daily commutes, or potholes that will break an axle upon impact, or a crime rates that are through the roof. You can have my broadband if you take these other "luxuries"!
They don't have to take those other luxaries just because they want broadband too. Why don't you stop crying and being selfish for a change. I'd love for the rural areas to get some good choices for broadband other than satelite and wireless cards. The internet was also designed to connect people in all parts of the world. That goes for those who live in the rural areas as well.

S_engineer

join:2007-05-16
Chicago, IL
·Comcast

Re: Connect America

Selfish huh...Whom do you think is going to pay for this rural deployment. The subscriber that doesn't live in boofoo Egypt. Once again non-suspecting people will be forced to pay for where other people have chosen to live.

Do you give all of your money away?
If not, then why not?
Maybe your selfish too!
--
"When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."---Sylvestor Stallone
tdouglas22

join:2001-09-25
Memphis, TN

Re: Connect America

Stop bitching. If you don't like how your taxes are being used your more than welcome to leave the country.

S_engineer

join:2007-05-16
Chicago, IL
·Comcast

Re: Connect America

Is that the best retort that Tennessee's finest can come up with?
"Leave the Country if you don't like the tax policy?"
Just how long did you ponder this prophetic declaration. Was this thought the result of survey using stringent sampling methods, or were you the visionary that came up with this all on his own. Was this given to you by Ms. Cleo, or were you enlightened with this opinion while brushing your tooth.

vostede é unha ferramenta
--
"When I was in junior high school, the teachers voted me the student most likely to end up in the electric chair."---Sylvestor Stallone

GOLFnSUN
Enjoy the sun
Premium
join:2002-03-03
Avalon, NJ
·Sprint Mobile Broa..
·Comcast

said by TamaraB See Profile :

All of it should be spent on providing access to the portions of the country which have no access to broadband now.

Bob
Given the nature of politics, that outcome is very unlikely. The money will be funneled in a way that it covers the most VOTERS. And sending the money to areas with few voters will not get the backing of the pols in Congress.

So expect the funds to be spent in cities and suburbs - the places that gave the Dems their majority in the House & Senate.
--
My BLOG .. .. Internet News .. .. My Web Page

TamaraB
Question The Current Paradigm
Premium
join:2000-11-08
Brooklyn NYC
·Verizon Online DSL

Re: Connect America

said by GOLFnSUN See Profile :

Given the nature of politics ...
We shall see. I believe if the money were to be spent providing access to dead zones in Rural America, most American Voters, would view this as a big plus, and as a real Change. We MAY be living in a new paradigm. The November elections would seem to indicate that is the case.

I think a lot of political capital would be earned if the Administration took a different tact, broke with the past, and actually put need ahead of partisan politics. Wouldn't that be refreshing?

I live in a big city, and would certainly give kudos to Obama, if he channeled that money where the greatest need was instead of here, where we are already swimming in Internet access. In fact, if he did anything other than this, he would lose as far as I am concerned. Let's see what happens, we may be pleasantly surprised.

Bob
--
"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." -- Voltaire
nasadude

join:2001-10-05
Rockville, MD
·Comcast

said by GOLFnSUN See Profile :

Given the nature of politics, that outcome is very unlikely. The money will be funneled in a way that it covers the most VOTERS. And sending the money to areas with few voters will not get the backing of the pols in Congress.

So expect the funds to be spent in cities and suburbs - the places that gave the Dems their majority in the House & Senate.
There are only a couple of "voters" congress is interested in: ATT, Comcast, Verizon and a few more.

Unfortunately, I believe these "voters" will have the most say in how the money gets spent and where service is deployed. Whatever these "voters" end up doing, it won't result in lower prices, faster speeds or better coverage of underserved and rural areas.

Cynical? yes, but you get the congress you voted for, not the congress you wish you had.
bgraham

join:2001-03-15
Smithtown, NY

Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

The only thing is that the American public will see very little improvement in anything. Companies will take the money and do as little as possible then get bigger profits to boost shareholder value.
Skippy25

join:2000-09-13
Hazelwood, MO

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

Which is why there needs to be a way to make the large corporations that can afford it make the improvements and then file a claim to get it reimbursed.

bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Premium
join:2005-03-19
Evanston, IL
clubs:

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

i like the idea of using the money to start COOP ISPs in rural areas.

CaptainRR
Premium
join:2006-04-21
Blue Rock, OH

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

I am all for that!!! I have a COOP for my electricity were I live and never have a power outage even in the worst of weather! And I have AT&T for phone and all I can get here is 19.2k dialup at the house at best. Or 140k on my Verizon Wireless modem hooked upto a 3 watt amplifier on a yagi antenna outside.
Were I used to live up in NY my former telephone provider, they are a private telco and my family in different parts of the township is more remote then were I live and they all can get DSL. My feelings of a large telephone corporation in the rural contryside are not that good. As far as I am concerned AT&T and Verizon can stay in the city and let someone that wants to serve the rural customers in mind to the job of getting us connected.

bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Premium
join:2005-03-19
Evanston, IL
clubs:
·T-Mobile US
·Vonage
·AT&T U-Verse
·AT&T Midwest
·Mediacom

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

an even better idea would be to have the larger ISPs sell their old technology to these coops. i'm not sure but i think AT&T is almost 100% ADSL2+ by now and they could sell their older equipment to these more rural telco's so they could offer the service? its not solution but it is at least an idea.

CaptainRR
Premium
join:2006-04-21
Blue Rock, OH

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

100% ADSL2+??? are you kidding me! I have AT&T and the only ADSL2+ that I know of is 50 miles from here in Columbus and it suburbes. The only thing AT&T has in my county is regular old DSL and you can only get it in town. I am 49,900 feet from the CO and 21,000 feet to the nearest RT and it is not DSL live. How about this one: AT&T should take there older equipment and light up there rural parts that I dont think they will ever light up.

bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Premium
join:2005-03-19
Evanston, IL
clubs:

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

ah. did not know that. i've only had dsl for about 8 months now.

i wish that phone companies would at lest use these USF fees that customers pay to actually upgrade things.

CaptainRR
Premium
join:2006-04-21
Blue Rock, OH

Re: Some companies are going to get rich from the stimulus fund.

Thats what the fuss has been about for years. Big telco's cherry picking wile there urban counterparts get nothing. I even have freinds on Embarq south of me with DSL. For the past few years all I have heard about is Verizon and AT&T neglecting copper for FTTH and FTTN and I am a prime example of that. I travel a lot and on Broadband most of the time but the dialup at my house is pretty much useless to me now. Most pages wont even load now.
jester121

join:2003-08-09
Lake Zurich, IL

Thank Goodness

I was concerned that the Department of Agriculture wouldn't have any say in how broadband funds are spent -- whew!

/sarcasm

TamaraB
Question The Current Paradigm
Premium
join:2000-11-08
Brooklyn NYC
·Verizon Online DSL

Re: Thank Goodness

said by jester121 See Profile :

I was concerned that the Department of Agriculture ...
/sarcasm
Actually this is a good sign. It indicates that the thrust of the effort will be in the agricultural south and west, where there is no access to broadband. Who knows better than the Department of Agriculture, what the demographics of these areas are?

Bob
--
"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." -- Voltaire
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA


1 edit

Re: Thank Goodness

Actually only $2.5 Billion is being handed out by the Rural Utilities Service which has been criticized in the past that not all their funds have gone to truly rural areas. The FCC will actually make the decision of what an unserved or underserved area is for both the RUS and the Dept. of Commerce's NTIA. Thank Goodness none of this money is being handled by the either incompetent or corrupt Universal Service Administrative Company.
jester121

join:2003-08-09
Lake Zurich, IL
·surpasshosting
·ViaTalk

Re: Thank Goodness

said by Sammer See Profile :

Thank Goodness none of this money is being handled by the either incompetent or corrupt Universal Service Administrative Company.
And you think the corruption won't follow the money to wherever it ends up? Of course it will -- it's one of the defining characteristics of government bureaucracies.
iansltx

join:2007-02-19
Golden, CO
·Comcast
·Qwest.net
·magicjack.com
·BeeCreek Communica..
·Sprint Mobile Broa..

Stelera Wireless benefited from the RUS grants; granted, their caps are low and the prices are high, but several towns have broadband that didn't before. What's better, that broadband is 3G (HSPA AWS) so these cities are on par with much more urban areas when it comes to mobile broadband.

OTOH I'm here in an area where DSL is very, very limited (due to weird LATA structuring, I'm told) and quite expensive where it's available (1.5/512 for $50/month). Cable is great if you can get it (RR, $50/month for 15/2 + download PowerBoost, $40/month for 7/512). Until they cap it at least. Then you'll be unable to get residential broadband for data transfers of mre than 40 GB per month in most of the town, though TWC is happy to sell business cable on their DOCSIS 1.1 system, albeit at a high price.

ISPs would have a hard time coming in here, except by several hops of a wireless link; the local WiSP is serving 1500+ customers off of a T3 (70% capacity, they say) that runs them around $8000 per month n a three-year contract. This is in Kerrville; they have to shoot long range backhauls to get the bits to their main office here in town. A T1 here would be $1000+...in town! And we aren't even really rural!

Bottom line: if any of that money gets used deploying VDSL for AT&T when they could deploy ADSL and get new customers in the process...I had probably get away from my computer because it'd make me puke.

gdogg

join:2006-02-06
39123

1 edit

Heres an idea

Only give money to those who have accomplished the job at there expense first.

Instead of destroying your own stocks, by claiming you need money , hurting the economy more.

See 9 replies to this post

Simba7

join:2003-03-24
Billings, MT

Dark Fiber anyone?

I wonder how much Dark Fiber is left unlit?

Anyone wanna take a guess?
probboy

join:2008-01-10
Natick, MA

Re: Dark Fiber anyone?

Dark fiber really doesn't help since you still have to build out the last mile, which is the expensive part of any proposal.
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA

Re: Dark Fiber anyone?

Most dark Fiber is probably just redundant to lit fiber. If it was in the right place for these have-not areas it would probably already be lit.
iansltx

join:2007-02-19
Golden, CO
·Comcast
·Qwest.net
·magicjack.com
·BeeCreek Communica..
·Sprint Mobile Broa..

Or the last sixty miles. See my above post; there probably is dark fiber here in town, but it's all owned by Verizon or TWC, who'll charge an arm and a leg before they give you service on it.

I'm pretty sure nobody in town except the telehone and cable company have T1 lines..they're too expensive. Okay, maybe Windstream-formerly-KTC has a few, but it's a point-to-point link with Kerrville I'd guess. everony just gets cable, maybe DSL or wireless...loop charges for a T1 are just too freakin' high!

bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Premium
join:2005-03-19
Evanston, IL
clubs:
yea well whoever jumps the gun and does it will be the winner
mudturtle74

join:2007-06-29
Killen, AL

Give it to the Fixed WISP guys

Give a big portion to the fixed WISP providers. They are about the only ones that are trying to cover the rural areas with coverage where only dial-up is available. I'm tired of hearing talk, talk, talk and no action from the telcos and cable companies.

BillRoland
Premium
join:2001-01-21
Ocala, FL
clubs:
·Cox HSI

Mmmm mmm

Porkulus never tasted so good. I imagine about $5 of that money will actually go to do something, and then we'll hear the same old tired complaining on this forum again about how we have no strategy, and the government needs to fund it, because we all know private enterprise has never accomplished anything.
--
"Don't steal. The government hates competition."
Beyond AM. Beyond FM. XM
ditka_b
Premium
join:2001-10-05
Barrington, IL

In 4 years..

50 or so billion will have been spent and most will have broadband just in time for Obama to lose his re-election and a realistic president elected.
Also for the next 40 years expect higher taxes to pay for the waste that is call a stimulus fund.

Simba7

join:2003-03-24
Billings, MT

Re: In 4 years..

Maybe some of these small businesses that would like to implement something in their small towns should get some of the stimulus.

After all, it's the *HUGE* companies that get a large chunk of it and spend it on everything *EXCEPT* what it was intended for. They probably have miles of unlit fiber and claim that they upgraded by lighting most of it up. "Hey look, we got a few million dollars for plugging that unused cable into the router!". Jeez.

Heck, I'm looking into putting a WISP in a tiny town (Broadus, MT) so the ranchers and farmers can get broadband and not rely on satellite and dialup. How about a little stimulus money here?

I still think White Space Broadband would be a good idea for a rural broadband solution.
--
Bresnan 15M/1M|Mine[P4HT 3.2GHz,2GB RAM,2x1TB HDDs,WinXP]|Wife's[P4 2.4GHz,1GB RAM,60GB HDD,WinXP]|Router[2xP3@1GHz,640MB RAM,18GB HDD,Allied Telesyn AT-2560FX,Kingston KNE100TX,2xDigital DE504,Compaq NC3131,iPro/1000DP,Blitz BWI715,Gentoo]
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA

Re: In 4 years..

said by Simba7 See Profile :

I still think White Space Broadband would be a good idea for a rural broadband solution.
It would have been if lightly licensed similarly to the 3.65 GHz band but completely unlicensed it will probably be a mess that will discourage investment by providers.

major marco
Res Firma Mitescere Nescit
Premium
join:2003-02-13
Stepford, CA
clubs:

Whatta Joke

The whole "stimulus" package is useless. Just an excuse for PORK projects. The country's own national version of Ted Stevens's notorious roads to nowhere. Broadband is nice but what the country needs right now is the disposable income to get the economy rolling back into gear. People are being laid off en masse on a daily basis and those who still have a job are in fear of it. So they've tightened their belts so much so that Americans are actually saving too much. Let me repeat that because saving is not something that Americans are in touch with in contemporary times.

The economy is in a tailspin because the citizens aren't spending any money. I fail to see how throwing money at pork project like some mythical BB deployment effort to so called rural areas, and/or handing out billions to Paulson's, now Geithner's golf buddies is going to stimulate anything whatsoever other than the wallets of service providers and executive officers. This is so much bullshit, IMO, that it's galling to have to continually be slapped upside the head with it in 24x7 news.
--
The Toll

Tracking Lord Stanley
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA

Re: Whatta Joke

said by major marco See Profile :

The whole "stimulus" package is useless.
The $7.2 Billion for broadband expansion is less than 1% of the stimulus bill and probably will create some new jobs. Considering that half of what's in the stimulus bill won't create or preserve any jobs (although some members of Congress are hoping it will preserve their job in a couple of years) at least this $7.2 billion isn't a total waste.

major marco
Res Firma Mitescere Nescit
Premium
join:2003-02-13
Stepford, CA
clubs:


3 edits

Re: Whatta Joke

said by Sammer See Profile :

The $7.2 Billion for broadband expansion is less than 1% of the stimulus bill and probably will create some new jobs.


That's highly debatable.

said by Sammer See Profile :

[...] at least this $7.2 billion isn't a total waste.
Believer whatever pie-in-the-sky fantasies you want, but this puppy is, in fact, a $7.2B bonanza of 100% completely unadulterated bullshit. It's not good for anyone who isn't an executive officer. Those pricks are using the "stimulus" monies to pay themselves bonuses and are otherwise receiving a windfall for incompetence. Once again, the U.S. taxpayers are paying for certain entities to fail upwards.

I'd like to know when I'm going to get MY bailout so that I can fail upwards and be rewarded for incompetence.

--
The Toll

Tracking Lord Stanley

ShellMG



Rural ISP Users

I left Wildblue (can you say latency headache?) late August 2008 in favor of Alltel wireless. It was $10 a month cheaper, a bit faster (NO latency) and had no FAP/cap/throttle. I'm 6 months into a two year contract and this is one of those bizarre times where I don't want my contract to end. When Verizon takes over where Alltel leaves off, will I be forced to accept their pathetic 5G cap?

I live in a rural area of Michigan but I-94 is less than 5 miles away. In the past three years our cellular choices have expanded from Nextel's pathetic analog network to include Alltel and Verizon. No Sprint yet and I'd be surprised if they bothered. No cable in sight so it's not an option.

Latency is a huge nuisance. A lot of flash applications requiring real-time access will NOT work and VOIP? Fuhgetaboutit. I'm more than happy to pay a reasonable fee for reasonable internet access and Alltel has been an acceptable choice. There's a lot of users like me but we lack a voice because of the nature of country-dwellers -- we tend not to speak out unless stupidity gets in our way.
dmelling

join:2009-02-26
New Paris, OH

Stimulus reminds me of this joke.....

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, 'If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?'

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, Why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, w here he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany

Within seconds he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're one of Obama's new Cabinet officials in the White House, says Bud.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep...

Now give me back my dog.
tdouglas22

join:2001-09-25
Memphis, TN

Re: Stimulus reminds me of this joke.....

And the point of this is.........?

TScheisskopf
World News Trust

join:2005-02-13
Belvidere, NJ

Re: Stimulus reminds me of this joke.....

The point is that anyone can retread an old joke, put a few tech references and the name "Obama" in it, and attempt to appear clever.

Secondary point is that anyone can Fail.

doubtlesshope

@tn.gov


from:
StreetSpirit See Profile

I have hope, but

I have hope for many americans that at least a 1/4 of the money for broadband will build out services.. Realistically, though It will probably increase speeds for those with broadband, and maybe clean up some copper by an outhouse in Tennessee.. If we are lucky.. Just too much power in the three big ones.. I wish they didn't qualify, nor had the power to prevent others from competing..
BarneyBadAss
Badasses Fight For Freedom
Premium
join:2004-05-07
00001
·Verizon FIOS

how about executive pay?

If broadband companies are going to receive $$$ from the stimuli us package for things they should have done in the first place as good corporate citizens, then I say fire the CEO's then off shore their jobs to India!
--
---Barney

TScheisskopf
World News Trust

join:2005-02-13
Belvidere, NJ

Re: how about executive pay?

No, just bring all the support jobs back to the US.

Jobs solve a lot of problems.
geonap
lolatidiots

join:2005-12-14
Glendale, CA

cut

i'm trying to get a cut, even if i have to forge documents saying i'm a bank and need 4.4 billion, i'll split it with you guys
Sammer

join:2005-12-22
Canonsburg, PA

Re: cut

Better ask for $44 Billion or the government may think you're small enough to fail!
ieee1394
Premium
join:2001-08-25
Washington
·TowerStream

It's all just $%@!

When will they give up on satellites? Even if you skip the whole latency issue, the things have very limited bandwidth to start (it's the usual matter of physics...wavelengths and transponder capacity). I mean, common. This is such a nonstarter.

The country needs (NEEDS!) to be rewired with fiber to the premise. And no money should be handed out to any company not willing to do this!

WiMax works great. We use it at the office for 10Mbps/10Mbps link. It wasn't my first choice but there are no other options for that kind of bandwidth where we are. And we were only able to get this because we have a view of downtown Seattle.

See, we're up in the Pacific Northwest. Home of very big trees and many hills and dales (combined, they make wireless impossible...even WiMax). And this is not that far from Seattle. Because of all the trees, the utilities are all using buried plants (less overhead lines to worry about when trees fall on them during storms). And because of the buried plants, the cable cos won't extend their service (not enough people out here). And the phone companies won't install dsl repeaters. Fiber? I'm not sure anyone outside of the city knows what that is.

I think that's pretty much the reality in one way or another for most of the U.S. and definitely most of Canada. Tons of tough to service rural areas that NO ONE WILL EVER service because they still haven't done it after ten years of tax breaks and political talk.

Unless everyone just sucks it up and lets the government build rural broadband it will NEVER EVER happen.

Anyone try to use Netflix streaming over Wildblue??? How's that kill your FAP?

It takes us two hours plus to download an SD movie to our PS3 over our crappy DSL. Still stuck at 1999 speeds.

lkjlkjir

@rr.com

USDA waste

Unserved rural areas need to be wired first for the sake of the kids that reside there. Children don't have a say in where they live.

The USDA needs to drop it's requirement to include a 'community center'. $100,000 is pissed away off the top. It's totally unnecessary.

Also, the USDA needs to eliminate their dictate that only certain types of corporations need apply. Mom & pops wired rural America with CATV. Mom & pops are often nothing more than a DBA.

yolarry

join:2007-12-29
Creston, WV

Just any internet other then dial up and Hughesnet

I don't care to have a sold 128-300kb dsl!

I just want to get off this hughesnet boat.
Forums » Everybody Wants a Cut Of Stimulus Funds


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