An encyclopedia of medical profanity, mammoth dung and toe wars skimmed from our forum comments, preheated and with food safety tips.

"When my toenails start slicing my socks that means war."

"We all know that lungs fell from the sky in a day."

"I don't think i am right now. At least my wife does not think so. But then again i do cook and like to smell good, I'm sure in Kansas that means your gay. So yes I'M GAY IN KANSAS!"

"Ok, I'm in the business of Medical profanity"

"A religious friend of mine (always carried a bible in his pocket) was in Chicago and unknown to him, there was a Shriner's convention going on in the hotel he was passing. Anyway two drunk Shriners got into the fruit basket and were having a food fight. The window was open and one Shriner tossed a grape at the other but he ducked and the grape went flying out of the window from the 80th floor. That grape came tumbling down and hit the fellow in the chest. You know what. If it hadn't been for that bible, that grape would have gone clean through him! Don't lecture me about food safety!"

"All I really do all day is study about colons."

"IE tells me I can visit the 'related' site Royal Mounted Canadian Police instead since it can't locate www.grc.com."

"Do I have to preheat my oven to 350 before my internet will work?"

"oh and u people with shitty d/l rates. guaranteed it ur fuck-up. probably a compyer retard like my friend."

"My pants are getting loose, so I must keep with the persistance."

"she's pretty, but her underpants are silly."

"Person don't need that many guns you only got two hands.Unless some how you can use your feet and even then I bet you would shot yourself in the gonads."

"My Daughter has a Nookia 3120b"

"I looked in fag's, but most use bridge mode."

"please get your facts straight before pisting such nonsence."

"WHen I try to use the Tweat Test I always get a square small icon with a Red X in the upper left hand corner."

"People need to EDUCATED THEMSELVES."

"tell motorola that their cable boxes are a works heating up my underwear"

"I HATE YOU FILTHY PORN HUNGRY WINDOWS USERS.YOU SUNS A BITCHES COME IN MY NECK OF THEE WOODS I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AnD I WILL CUT YOU"

"Pretty soon we'll discover cave paintings describing Verizon email service with pictographs of mammoth dung."

"They will be sending a team of bandwidth ninjas to your premesis.
The ninjas do a pretty clean job at disposing, and they do it fairly quietly, that other high bandwidth throughput users are not tipped off.
You heard it here folks.
Ninjas."

"MY NAME IS PAIGE FROM MONTANA. I WOULD LIKE BE FRIEND WITH YOU . I NICE MEET TO YOU .
--
PLEASE PEOPLES DO NOT SHY TO ME "

"seems that with nortons ass blocking enabled on intenet security 2003 i was unable to finish those tests"

"how many post to i did to get in up for sale"

"My science teacher says you just poo out the Mercury."

"internet explorer was changed to PIZZA SLICE"

"no one is sure babe hit those homeruns. they used to send the team with one reporter to the games AWAy remember there was no tv and no radio broadcasts."

"Throw them in the laundry room with some candles and barry white. THe commotion will die down eventually."