Onion Takes Jab at Verizon Fees New 'charge-You-at-whim' package Verizon, fresh off their latest "unfee" announcement, gets picked on a bit by the Onion: Verizon Communications, Inc. announced a new service package for its wireless and residential customers that would charge them widely varying, but always high, fees every month depending how the communications giant feels at the time. "Our Charge-At-Whim packages offer the same mediocre quality and insufferable level of customer service you’ve come to expect," a Verizon spokesman said Tuesday. "But it adds an unjustified, arbitrary and, if you’ll allow us to boast, frankly unjustifiable method of determining just how much you’ll pay for them." Packages start at "oh, $69.99 a month, let’s say?" and went into effect about three or four months ago.
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  ptrowskiGot Helix?Premium
join:2005-03-14
Putnam, CT
kudos:4 | Truly classic... This is an accurate way to describe it...Go Onion! | |
|  | JohnAPremium
join:2003-09-16
Pittsburgh, PA | Re: Truly classic...
The announcement quoted above says nothing about wireless. It's the FUSF on DSL announcement. | |
| | | | | |  vpokoPremium
join:2003-07-03
Boston, MA | said by JohnA:The announcement quoted above says nothing about wireless. It's the FUSF on DSL announcement. Wow, The Onion didn't check their sources? | |
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 swintecPremium,VIP
join:2003-12-19
Alfred, ME
kudos:3 | The Onion The Onion has always been a riot. I remember when I first stumbled upon the site in high school computer class, trying to hold back laughter while the teacher was speaking. lol They have a no holds barred approach. | |
| | | | | | | | | | | Re: The Onion ROFLMMFALSMP!!!!!!!!!!!!  | |
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| | | | This is still my favorite Onion "story"
»www.theonion.com/content/node/27828
This story was actually picked up by the Chinese media, and they busted on the U.S. Congress for it. The Chinese media actually BELIEVED the story. | |
| | | | | | | | | Re: The Onion Those stories quoted are great, but my favorite is, "Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected" at
»www.theonion.com/content/node/44462 | |
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vpokoPremium
join:2003-07-03
Boston, MA | Sure, it's funny now ...just wait 6 months until this same headline is coming from an actual newspaper. | |
| | Reviews:
 ·Verizon FiOS
| Re: Sure, it's funny now Or how about "We also reserve the right to charge absolutely lower regional prices toward our competition, and once they realize, we'll raise it to confuse you even more! Best of all, we don't have to honor our pricing tiers anywhere else in the country, because we are Verizon, expect less! Our marketing department spends most of our money on flyers, silly commercials and nazi-colored corporate graphics that really tell you who we are, even if we are the only phone/telco provider for hundreds of miles! " | |
| | | | Nah, Verizon's real offer with be wirelss+phone+DSL for only $2 a month*.
[fine print]
* $2 a month fee only good for the first four months. Per month fee then rises to $200 a month. Promotional offer only valid if upon signing a 3 year contract. Early termination of the contract would cost $900. Taxes and Fees not included in the per month fee and are expected to run $95 a month.
[/fine print]
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| | |  rawgerzThe hell was that?Premium
join:2004-10-03
Grove City, PA | Re: Sure, it's funny now said by Jason Levine:Nah, Verizon's real offer with be wirelss+phone+DSL for only $2 a month*. [fine print] * $2 a month fee only good for the first four months. Per month fee then rises to $200 a month. Promotional offer only valid if upon signing a 3 year contract. Early termination of the contract would cost $900. Taxes and Fees not included in the per month fee and are expected to run $95 a month. [/fine print] You forgot the part saying that after you cancel early you have to return the modem and phone then permanently affix a bumper sticker on your car that says 'Satisfied Verizon subscriber'
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"Hows your French toast?" "Smelly and ungrateful, but this AMERICAN toast is great!" | |
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| | for all its worth... yeah, they still have the albatross of those fees,
but give the cynics an onion, they'll take a fennel.. or whatever vegetable happens to be in season, collard greens for one.. | |
| | | another great headline King Latiffah comes to America to find missing wife.... | |
| |  NeilStop All The Downloadin
join:2003-08-20
New York, NY | Re: another great headline hah, i have this one on my wall. it's a riot. | |
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 mikes60My ParadisePremium
join:2001-07-31
Boynton Beach, FL
 ·Comcast
 ·AT&T Southeast
 ·Vonage
| Verizon Imposes New Service Surcharge Read it and weep.
»apnews.myway.com//article/200608···CG2.html
Verizon Imposes New Service Surcharge
Aug 21, 6:03 PM (ET)
WASHINGTON (AP) - Verizon Communications Inc. (VZ) is imposing a new surcharge on high-speed Internet service just as customers were set to receive lower bills thanks to a decision last year to deregulate the service.
In a recent notice to customers, the telecommunications company said it would begin imposing the surcharge for all new digital-subscriber line customers, and on current DSL customers with monthly plans. Customers on an annual plan will start paying when their plan expires.
The surcharge will initially be $1.20 a month for customers with service up to 768 kilobits per second and $2.70 per month for customers with faster DSL service, according to the company.
The fee comes as a government fee on DSL customers for the Universal Service Fund is being phased out. For customers with service up to 768 kpbs, the fee was $1.25 a month, and for customers with service of up to 3 Mbps, the fee was $2.83 a month, according to Verizon. Customers will no longer pay such charges effective Aug. 14, New York-based Verizon said.
Bobby Henson, a Verizon spokeswoman, cited "new costs that we've developed over the past year as we've been developing and delivering this standalone DSL service. That service doesn't have the benefit of the revenue that was coming in from voice."
Verizon was among the companies that had pushed for the Federal Communications Commission to deregulate DSL service, which the commission did in August 2005. Under the ruling, DSL was considered to be an information service. Information services are generally exempt from universal service payments that are included in telephone bills. The FCC, however, mandated that DSL providers continue to contribute to universal service for 270 days in order to give the agency time to develop broad reform of the system.
Henson said the decision to impose the new surcharge now "is not related at all to USF." She said she "would strongly disagree" with criticisms that Verizon was in effect diverting to its own coffers money that had previously supported the Universal Service Fund.
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No good deed goes unpunished. | |
| |  haamsterPremium
join:2002-12-02
Monroe Township, NJ | Re: Verizon Imposes New Service Surcharge Yes.
That's what the first link in the article at the top of the page said.
Thanks, though. | |
| | | mikes60My ParadisePremium
join:2001-07-31
Boynton Beach, FL | Re: Verizon Imposes New Service Surcharge Just thought that the whole article might be of interest.
Thanks, though.....
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No good deed goes unpunished. | |
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