Weekend Open Thread

Little Shop of Horrors(1960 version)
»www.imdb.com/title/tt0054033/

Any of the "El Santo" movies made in Mexico are wonderful. He's a superhero whose superhero car is a convertible spots car. His day job is being a professional wrestler (masked, of course). The crowd loves him and chants his name during his matches.

In the best movie of all he discovered, in the ring during a match, that his (masked, of course) opponent was a vampire werewolf from outer space who uses karate.

Awesome movies.

I highly doubt these are verbatim... but funny, none the less

Court reporter cites: IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER...
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

You missed a couple:

Q: What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Questions About Lawyers
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Court reporter cites: IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER...
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Key to long marriage

At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars.

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up."

Lets beat them Skins on Sunday.
SALSA!

Nearly half of all robberies in San Francisco this year are cell phone-related, police say, and most occur on bustling transit lines.

And, in nearby Oakland, City Council candidate Dan Kalb was robbed at gunpoint of his iPhone Wednesday after he attended a neighborhood anti-crime meeting.

"I thought he was going to shoot me," recalled Kalb, who had dropped his phone during the stickup. "He kept saying, `Find the phone! Find the phone!"'

Thefts of cell phones-- particularly the expensive do-it-all smartphones containing everything from photos and music to private e-mails and bank account statements-- are costing consumers millions of dollars and sending law enforcement agencies and wireless carriers nationwide scrambling for solutions.

U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer, D-New York, and New York City Police Commissioner Ray Kelly announced that the major U.S. cell phone carriers and the Federal Communications Commission have agreed to set up a national database to track reported stolen phones. It is scheduled to launch in late 2013.

Schumer also introduced a bill called the Mobile Device Theft Deterrence Act, which proposes a five-year prison sentence for tampering with the ID numbers of a stolen cell phone.

CTIA officials said carriers are expected to launch individual databases later this month to permanently disable a cell phone reported stolen. The initiative is similar to a successful decade-old strategy in Australia.