Canadian Chat → Homosexuals.

Iv been reading about issues with people and this issue comes up most, people claim that homosexuality happens at birth when you have a chemical imbalance which happens in the brain?

Any comments?

I think it's still an open question whether it's "nature" or "nurture", but whichever it is, it's the same for me as it is for homosexuals; there was never a time when I "chose" to be straight.

what do you mean there was never a time, so there is still a possibility of you going to have sex with a man at any time?

My "straight-ness" feels like it's always been with me, so if it was not inborn, then the imprinting was done before I was aware of it. I am straight, but I never consciously chose it.

Steve

I guess it all builds in the childhood when your told to like boys or girls... I mean people think that they are gay at any age but my opinion on that is basically they want to believe their gay but at the same time they want to be straight. And they break down. I dont believe that drugs are needed to calm this problem but this is just my opinion.

Steve is correct, imo. People don't choose to be straight, or gay. They just... are.

But i dont understand... it cant just happen like that you dont just come out and choose...?

said by Spider Man:

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But i dont understand... it cant just happen like that you dont just come out and choose...?

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I can't really tell where you're going with this, but I don't know anybody that actively chose to be gay. In every case, they had early inklins that they were "different", and over time it got more clear.

"Coming out of the closet" does not mean "suddenly realizing you're gay" but "deciding to tell the world about it".

Steve

said by Spider Man:

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I mean people think that they are gay at any age but my opinion on that is basically they want to believe their gay but at the same time they want to be straight. And they break down.

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Have you even met a gay person? Toady more then ever, gays are more comfortable with who they are. Saying they really want to be straight maybe your opinion, but it's a really uninformed one.

p.s. I'm not gay.

Yes, exactly, childhood has a huge effect on sexual development. There's been studies on imprinting where men will be more attracted to women that are similar to what they see early in life. Maybe why some men like Britney..and others like Christina !

Anyway, there's the idea that porn or sexual stuff (abuse, peeping) in childhood changes the brain. Ted Bundy apparently got his start by looking at girly magazines in childhood and moving on up to other stuff. Actually in Asia there was a case of a grandfather showing pron to his grandchild, and this kid was doing sexually inapporprite things. Took him to a psychiatrist and they didn't know if they could fix it..same as if you were to start like broccolli or something. If you're not shown that veggies are gross as a kid (when a lot of brain development goes on) you're more likely to like them as an older kid.

But who knows for sure. No one has ever shown me any evidence about that horomone theory in the womb making gays or not so I don't believe it at all. I think it all happens in childhood though, and that men liking women is the default.

said by Steve:

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said by Spider Man:

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But i dont understand... it cant just happen like that you dont just come out and choose...?

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I can't really tell where you're going with this, but I don't know anybody that actively chose to be gay. In every case, they had early inklins that they were "different", and over time it got more clear.

"Coming out of the closet" does not mean "suddenly realizing you're gay" but "deciding to tell the world about it".

Steve

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"Coming out of the closet" does not mean "suddenly realizing you're gay" but "deciding to tell the world about it". See thats wat I dont get... it feels like they want attention because something happened earlier in their life that made them this way... deciding to tell the world about it... isn't that suddenly realizing your gay?

said by Spider Man:

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I guess it all builds in the childhood when your told to like boys or girls...

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Were you ever told to like either boys or girls? I know I wasn't.

said by Spider Man:

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... I mean people think that they are gay at any age but my opinion on that is basically they want to believe their gay but at the same time they want to be straight. And they break down.

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I would think that no one "wants to believe" they are either straight or gay, we all just know what we are. To think that homosexuality is the result of someone "breaking down" or not fighting hard enough to be straight, is ludicrous. Did you have to fight hard not to be homosexual?

said by Spider Man:

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I dont believe that drugs are needed to calm this problem but this is just my opinion.

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What "problem"? You are displaying your own prejudices if you refer to be homosexual as a problem, unless of course you also perceive heterosexuality as a "problem" too.

What do you mean who ever told you to like boys or girls... its everywhere. Whenever your friend tells you he likes some girl that leans you in that direction, you parents affect this issue also. And more importantly your almost made to like girls/boys (depending on your sex) because no one wants to face the world that is as rude as ours with a confession like this.

said by Spider Man:

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See that's what I don't get...

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Yes, it's obvious that you don't get it.

"Announcing that you are gay" often has a less than enthusiastic reaction: your parents disown you, or at least know that you won't be giving them grandchildren, your co-workers start hassling you, etc. It's a terrifying prospect for many people.

But so does "living with a secret" - having to agree with "the guys" that so-and-so is a hottie, pretense-dating, and actually meeting and falling in love with somebody where the relationship has to be hidden. This has a certain stress as well.

The clash of these two factors often sets the pace of when somebody "comes out", and even then it's often a staged effort. First your family, then your closest friends, then the wider world.

Not everybody goes through this, of course, but it's a very common paradigm.

Steve

said by Spider Man:

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Whenever your friend tells you he likes some girl that leans you in that direction

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Huh? You mean if I mention to a friend that I like vanilla ice cream, that I'm trying to crusade the world?

You really are out of it...

said by Steve:

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said by Spider Man:

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Whenever your friend tells you he likes some girl that leans you in that direction

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Huh? You mean if I mention to a friend that I like vanilla ice cream, that I'm trying to crusade the world?

You really are out of it...

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sorry I dont know what i wrote there myself... my mistake im really tired.

homosexuality is a life style choice, plain and simple. a good example is hetrosexual men who go to prison may over time engage in homosexual activities. other prisoners may refrain from sex with a partner all together.

men were not meant to have sex with men as their sexual parts do not interchange. the same can be said about women.

i can not see how anyone can enjoy sodomy as i shudder when i have my prostrate examined by my family doctor. i find no pleasure from the prodding and insertng the doctor does in that general area. if anyone does enjoy this then they must be a sadist.

sorry if i seem rather old fashioned but i am speaking how i truly feel on this matter.

said by darkeans:

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i can not see how anyone can enjoy sodomy

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... which is an entirely reasonable and understandable position.

What's not reasonable is believing that others who do enjoy it must be somehow prohibited from enjoying it (as long as they're not involving you in their activities).

said by darkeans:

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homosexuality is a life style choice, plain and simple. a good example is hetrosexual men who go to prison may over time engage in homosexual activities. other prisoners may refrain from sex with a partner all together.

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That's where you're mistaken. Choosing to be intimate and share your life with members of the same sex is indeed a lifestyle choice, but the attraction, desire, and need for members of the same sex is NOT a lifestyle choice. Every time you look at a girl you find attractive, your body and your mind reacts to her. That is not a choice. Approaching her and engaging her, IS.

said by darkeans:

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men were not meant to have sex with men as their sexual parts do not interchange. the same can be said about women.

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If there's a hole, you can have sex with it. Plain and simple. My parts interchange just fine with women, thankyouverymuch.

said by darkeans:

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i can not see how anyone can enjoy sodomy as i shudder when i have my prostrate examined by my family doctor. i find no pleasure from the prodding and insertng the doctor does in that general area. if anyone does enjoy this then they must be a sadist.

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I find no pleasure from my doctor shoving a cold instrument inside of me for my yearly physicals, either. I find no pleasure when he examines my breasts. What's your point? Just because you find no pleasure in the doctor checking your prostate, doesn't mean it isn't pleasurable in the right circumstance.

said by darkeans:

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sorry if i seem rather old fashioned but i am speaking how i truly feel on this matter.

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No need to apologize - ditto!

carrie, you make some good points. but don't the hetrosexual prisoners whom engage in homosexual acts, do they not make a life style choice. that is my point.

and i would add the rectrum area is not a sexual organ. it can't be used to reproduce.

Greetings,

Either way, it cannot be reversed easily. When you are a baby, all of you is controlled by your subconscious which, is a very powerful "thing".

What your subconscious sees or takes-in will affect your life forever.

said by darkeans:

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carrie, you make some good points. but don't the hetrosexual prisoners whom engage in homosexual acts, do they not make a life style choice. that is my point.

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Yes, that is a lifestyle choice - but that doesn't make them homosexuals. If I was stuck in a prison for 15 years with only my bunkmate in sight, bet your bottom dollar I'd become her best friend within a few months. So what? *shrugs* It doesn't make me a lesbian, just horny. What's the crime in that?

said by darkeans:

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and i would add the rectrum area is not a sexual organ. it can't be used to reproduce.

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The mouth isn't a sexual organ either, but I doubt you told your girlfriend to stop when she put your sexual organ in it.

I'm glad you say how you feel because there is no basis in fact but at least your honest!

I have a sneaking suspicion that many of those inmates are not willing partners at least initially. Regardless of parts interchange or not, its the common respect and love two people want to share together that counts. I am positive that the sudanese women are shuddering right now even considering the 'natural fitting' of parts of their torturers and rapists.

Because you cannot understand something then it must be evil or sadistic or something along those lines. That is again very honest to say, but also shows your deep rooted fear or bigotry or ignorance (not sure which is most prevalent) on the matter.

What is old fashioned? To think being homosexual is deviant or a sin??? Take a look at the natural kingdom, it occurs commonly in other animals, its part of nature........

I'm sure some chimps got together around the anthill and decided to make a few lifestyle choices.............

Goldberg your on the wrong path. You misunderstand natural human affection and call it being gay if a guy displays this or a child. When kids are little, they are both equally able to show affection etc... what is wrong with a boy having a doll or taking care of them. NOthing because just maybe that lad will grow up to be a dad and those skills are important for both parents.... be it a gay or straight relationship.......

Thus do not confuse "how boys or girls are supposed to be" with inate sexual preference............. Remember something called puberty occurs later on which is when pronounced differences and relationships and attractions and feelings start to affect behaviour.......

ttt2525 what a bunch of hogwash based on zero scientific studies......... gee I knew an old lady that smoked until she was 90....... thus smoking is not bad for our health.
Avoid such generalizations......
Do you know how many kids in the US in the past were exposed to porn magazines in their youth.........hmm a gazillion subscriptions to playboy penthouse and a few others.........lets see 6 out 10 US males should be ted bundys......... give me a break.

No its often related to how they were treated (or more accurately) mistreated as a young child that I would hazard to guess has much to do with later criminal behaviour.

said by Deschutes:

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If there's a hole, you can have sex with it.

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Indeed: people have sex with ostomy holes.

anav. thank U for an insightful post. i like how you articulate your thoughts. it's a pleasure to read.

my feelings on this topic have been molded by my strong Baptist childhood. my father was a Baptist minister and i feel i would like to follow in his foot steps. Dad taught us kids that homosexualality was wrong. people choice this lifestyle to be defiant against God and society.

I don't believe in god the bible or that whole religon crap but if being gay is such a bad thing why did your god allow it to happen? Does god not control everything that happens according to your bible.

God gave us free mind to choice our own life. that is why we have serial killers and gang rapists. good question, but your logic has serious flaws.

Steve the difference between humans and animals is, humans know better. humans should not act upon every impulse but should exhibit refrain.

great debate folks, you are making me think alot.

said by darkeans:

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you are making me think alot.

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Not a common trait for the judgmental religious types...

said by darkeans:

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people choice this lifestyle to be defiant against God and society.

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Yes, they do. Isn't it wonderful! I love being defiant of God and society - it makes it all the more fun!

I believe along the lines that homosexuality is hardwired from birth. They can't help or change their preferences. Just as someone can't change what gets their motor running.
I have seen a lot of change in the acceptance of female homosexuality. Is this because of acceptance by the male population? How does religion deal with this? Is it adultery?
I do draw the line on same sex benefits and adoption by a homosexual couple. i guess I have a ways to go on that subect.