Verizon Tops Consumer Reports Wireless Satisfaction Ratings → NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!

This survey cannot possibly have included San Francisco. To preserve myself from hypertension, I am posting part of my observation of Verizon Wireless from another site rather than recomposing it:

". . . It is not enough that Verizon Wireless should forfeit all its assets in punishment for its criminal, meretricious publicity. It is not enough that the executives who conceived this monstrous nationwide fraud should be confined to McNeil Island Federal Penetentiary forever. All this should be done, but the inmates who were Verizon executives should, in addition, be tended by Screws who were former Verizon Wireless telephone customer service reps.

An example, by way of, "The Mikado":

- - - After dragging his tin cup back and forth on the bars for an hour to attract the attention of a Screw - - -

Former Verizon Executive: "Can I have another piece of baloney? This one is full of worms.

Screw: We are sorry that you are not satisfied with our product.

FVE: OK. But can I have another piece of baloney?

Screw: Nothing is more important to us than the satisfaction of our inmates.

FVE: Ok. Ok. But I still need a new slice of baloney.

Screw: Are you sure that there are worms in your baloney?

FVE: They look like worms. They are squirming all over it and eating it.

Screw: Let me connect you with a dietitian who can help you.

FVE: Look, I don't need a dietitian. All I need is another slice of baloney. . . . . . .

Screw leaves.

- - - - thirty minutes pass - -

Enter 2nd Screw:

Hello. I'm Sandy. How can I assist you today?"

After a suitable number of years have passed, the former Verizon executives should be offered death as an alternative.

I am nothing if not merciful.